Dancing With Myself

Ok, this post doesn't have anything to do with that obscure song, but I liked this title better than "Frustrations with myself", which is what the title of this post really is. Long explanation. Anyway, like I just mentioned, the title of this post is frustrations with myself.

Let me expound on this a little more. Sometimes I feel like I have so much self control, other times like I have not an ounce of self control in my entire body. Its an on going struggle. My biggest struggle lately - and I'm sure I'm not the only one - has been with sugar, especially chocolate. This addiction really wouldn't bother me if it didn't have certain unpleasant side effects (i.e. cravings for more sugar, feeling yucky inside, and the most obvious... ehem... weight gain.) What an embarrassing confession. One time my aunt told me that its natural for people to gain weight in the winter and then loose weight in the summer. I find that this unfortunate little cycle is what my body seems to be following. Its almost as if subconsciously my brain has a little convo with my taste buds and tummy:

Brain:" Hey, so winter is coming up and my sources tell me that its going to be a cold one. I know that Maclaine might be kind of chilly if she doesn't get some ' meat on her bones'. So feel free to let loose when all of those delicious chocolates come your way - Let it all hang out."
Tastebuds: "Can do"
Tummy: "No prob, Bob"

My tastebuds and tummy have been following these instructions to a tea.

Anyway, in all actuality, its not about gaining weight at all. I feel really comfortable with how I look but, the thing that I struggle with is just feeling like I don't have any control over my choices. That is the part that's hard. But, amidst the discouraging feelings, there is the hopeful fact that there is always tomorrow to start making good choices.